My proper Grandma

I have a grandma who is very proper and lady like at all times... She's the kind of person who would literally rather die of a heart attack than let you see her without her wig on... but she gave me this poem and I think it's hilarious!

GONNA BE A BEAR

In this life I'm a woman.  In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear.  When you're a bear, you get to hibernate.  You do nothing but sleep for six months.  I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.  I could deal with that too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) shile you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs.  I could definitely deal with that.

If you're mama bear, everyone know you mean business.  You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.  If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.  I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.  He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat. 

Yup, gonna be a bear!