This is not a pity post. I actually know that very few people read my blog and I realized that I've never written down my perspective of this year for my kids in the future. Children and grandchildren, here was the year from my point of view.
The year started out very busy. Mom stopped teaching fencing for the first time in almost 7 years. It was a hard decision, but it would have cost our family $4000-$5000 a year to keep going instead of the $200-$300 a year before. It made me sad, but I had the feeling that something had to give and it had to be that. Besides that heart wrenching decision, we had 4 kids in school. I was also part of the Parent Organization at school, doing our 3rd month of daycare in our home, had soccer and dance schedules, and helped with Grandma and Grandpa's yard/snow removal while Grandma Robertson did chemo and radiation treatments... we also had responsibilities with church. Dad as the executive secretary and mom as a YW leader in the laurels class. The YW's got rearranged in January and now my class went from 7 girls to 15. Ada also started in the youngest class for the first time. She got her temple recommend and had started going to do baptisms for the dead regularly with the youth or with Mom and Dad. We heard of a terrible sickness that had been going on in China that had recently come to the US.
I was so grateful that it was far away and that it didn't seem to be coming to Utah. We heard of hard times in New York and in Washington. People having to quarantine and stop going to work. Losing jobs, losing homes, losing entire working fields. The entertainment business shut down completely. My friend that worked on cruise lines lost her job and had to move back to Utah. Soon the virus came here too. Our neighbor got sick and died within a week. I stopped doing daycare for three months so that I could help with Grandma and Grandpa Robertson's yard without taking germs to them.
By March school and church were being done at home and the virus was most definitely here in Utah. A Mom who had never had any desire to homeschool was now homeschooling 4 kids. Seth was struggling with reading. Ada was in 6th grade and learning 7th grade math. She was having a hard time with it. (I had to relearn 7th grade math to help her). I spent an hour learning her math lessons every day and then an hour teaching them to her. Evelyn was working on her work, but not all of her work. Just the pieces that she wanted to. Sam would get his work done as fast as he could and not pay attention to how well it was being done. Mom was trying to balance all of their work and keep them happy and motivated to do other things. We made progress with Seth's lisp and reading as well as Ada's math. But they were very hard won. Ada was so sad to miss her last half year of being able to see her friends before going off to different jr highs. She missed working on the yearbook and 6th grade graduation.
I was so emotionally and physically overwhelmed, but I didn't break down. Just tired, but there were many friends and family that didn't understand why we weren't allowing in person contact while we were in contact with so many immunocompromised people. That was hard on me emotionally.
The kids were playing way too many video games and watching too many movies. It really bothered me that we weren't doing other things but I didn't have the emotional capabilities to try to engage them elsewhere. The soccer season that we'd paid for was cancelled with no refunds. Ballet was put online instead of in person. It was so hard to get Evelyn to participate without her friends around her. Ada's and my gym was closed for several months and put online, but we didn't have the equipment that they use. We did our best with all of it. Dad started having everyone walk on the treadmill to get exercise in. Piano lessons were cancelled. Friends were only seen online or over the phone.
Our YW's group tried and failed to safely do social distanced activities. The older girls just stopped responding to texts. We sort of successfully were able to convince the girls that we could meet online once a month. That worked for the first few months, but by August it was not. They really need in person contact.
My daycare partner was so completely overwhelmed by May and asked me to help. Judy was done with chemo and radiation so I said yes. Plus Sam's medical expenses were $7000 last year and I really was missing the income from the daycare. I knew that it was risky for her and Walter so I took a COVID test before going to the Robertson family reunion. It turned out negative, but the mom of one of two of the daycare kids was Covid positive and we had to miss the Robertson reunion anyways. That was sad, but we said that we'd make it fun. We did activities at home with the kids and built a new playhouse hobbit door for the backyard. That was fun, but it was a lot of work.
We had booked a trip to Yellowstone for June the year before. We thought they wouldn't be open for us to go, but they opened the week before our reservation and we were so excited to be able to get out and do something fun! It was not crowded and everyone wore masks in crowded areas, so I felt it was fine. I made sure that everyone washed their hands with sanitizer after being in the public bathrooms, but otherwise I felt great about being out camping. In late May, I found out that the reason why I've been in chronic pain is not only because of my plantar tendon, but it's also because I have arthritis in my hip and neck as well as a collapsed disc in my back. They've been painful for at least 15 years, so the damage must have been done a long time ago. The week before our Yellowstone trip I started physical therapy and getting shots in my hip. It got so bad that I couldn't get out of bed. It took me 15 very painful minutes to wiggle slowly to the side of the bed enough to be able to force myself upright. This was very stressful for me to realize that I couldn't keep up with my family anymore. I want my family to be active and adventurous. I don't want my husband to have to always wait for me as I struggle along. That was a very hard summer for me. I've been doing 7 months of physical therapy and they are anticipating at least 3 more. It takes 10 hours of my week and it's so hard to be consistent, but it's worth it.
Daycare guidelines changed dramatically. I had to start cleaning toys and playground equipment daily. For someone already doing physical therapy, this was really hard after an 11 hour work day. My kids, you became my best weapons. You would step in and pick up, clean, do dishes, lysol everything. I will appreciate you forever for seeing a need and stepping in to fill it. I had to wash hands of kids as they walked in the door. Parents weren't allowed into the house anymore. Lots of things to adjust to. And I struggled to. Daycare was 10x harder with all the new restrictions. I could understand why they are there, and they are hard still. I also potty trained two kids this year. That was never my favorite, but I did realize that it was easier now that I'm not emotionally invested in it like I was with my own kids. In the space of a month, my daycare insurance agency decided that they can't insure us because we have a trampoline on the property (even though they were told about it and that it is kept locked at all times while daycare kids are present), and my license inspector tried giving me a huge fine. It was my third inspection and they were all told about having a rifle locked away in the garage... but for some reason, the third inspector decided that it was not locked up well enough. I had to step through ALL the hoops and eventually got my license renewed and my insurance back together. Then a mom in the daycare had an anxiety attack and accused me of not being a safe environment for her baby that I'd been watching for 6 months already. That was not helpful for my own anxiety. I very rarely lose nights of sleep because of other people. I lost several because of her. My partner talked to her, she brought her baby back and never said another word about it.
It was a hard decision to send kids back to school. I was afraid, but I knew that the kids got by at home with me, but excelled at school with their teachers. I didn't think I'd be able to run the daycare and help with homeschool either. We choose to send you guys back to school and pray for the best. I'm the president of the Parent Organization and so I'm required to go to the school board meetings. I saw how hard the admins were working to make everything safe for you. I also saw how many teachers were concerned or scared. I thought that school would be out by October and it would just give us enough time to get you settled into your course work before having to work from home. We decided not to sign you up for soccer. Fewer people that you'd be exposed to, and I didn't want to spend $400 on getting you signed up to be cancelled again. That was also a hard decision because all of you love soccer and your teams so much. I was right in one thing. You have excelled being in class. Ada LOVES jr high. Her advanced math teacher was just the thing she needed. Drama helps her have a creative outlet and she learned more in the cooking class then she has ever let me teach her about cooking. Sam got the perfect teacher that saw that he needed a challenge and gave him one. He's finishing up 7th grade math, is the first to memorize and recite all the poems assigned, and is learning chinese while others are finishing up their classwork. Evelyn is loved by her teacher and I always get emails telling me how kind and happy she is. I think that's a good thing, because her teacher was one of the ones that was terrified to come back to school. Evelyn is never behind on her work and is always ready to read another book. Seth can read anything thrown at him and has learned how to sit still long enough to get a task done before bounding off to jump off things again. He's found good friends. Here we are in December and still going strong. The highest number of cases at the charter school was 3. Currently there's only 1 case of Covid. They are careful and while we've had to get rid of a lot of fun things about school, they are still thriving.
Since the start of school, we've still helped our Robertson grandparents with the lawn, building a shed, planting the garden and harvesting grapes and apples. We stay outside, visit Grandma from far away and when the number in Utah jumped really high in the middle of November, we stopped visiting all together. All this time, I've been using my Saturdays to get shots in my hips, neck and back to hopefully build up the tissue and reverse some of the damage done. And all this time, you kids have taken the list of chores to do and gotten them done, or mostly done, by the time Dad and I get back from the clinic. It's painful to get the shots. It's painful to watch my kids have to be the adults. But I'm also very proud of what you've done this year and the responsibilities that you've taken on.
Grandma Wilcox had major back surgery and you guys all took it in stride. Watching each other while I hung out with Grandma. You prayed for both Grandmas and your cousin Walter all year.
Halloween was very scaled back, but you didn't complain. The race riots all summer and the fighting over a very heated presidential election caused fights in both our extended families. You didn't care about the issues, you cared about your extended family.
We were thankful to be able to make it to Bryce Canyon the week after Fall break. There was no one there and is was a beautiful break from our hard year. Thanksgiving almost didn't happen for us, but again you didn't complain. We don't know if the latest COVID scare will change our Christmas, but you've all just taken it in stride.
This year has been hard. It has been full of challenges and changes in our daily lives. It continues to be challenging, but you have shown that you're up for the challenges and that you'll keep going. There has been some complaining, but you're learning not to. I've loved doing home church with you. I love that with every challenge is an opportunity to talk about our faith in Jesus Christ and His eventual second coming. I hope that when you are grown that you will remember this not as a hard year, but as a year of growth and faith. The new year will not bring an end to our current obstacles, but it will bring another year for us to learn, mature and grown. We've been very blessed that through all this, it was just hard but it has not been debilitating.
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