What a night

Running on 3 hours of sleep, I'll probably take a nap later, but I wanted to put down my thoughts from yesterday.  Evelyn started Sunbeams.  That is a hard transition for those not wanting to make it.  Ada and Sam were both excited to do it... They mostly loved Primary from the get go.  Evelyn is extreme opposite.  She would not go on her own, she insisted that the singing teacher is her Sunbeam teacher... not the two Sunbeam teachers, and yelled that she wanted to get out of there for most of sharing time. Jer and I switched taking her in to sit for a while, and even tried taking her to Sunday School with us.  What ended up working was me sitting in class with her and her blanket on my lap and playing a game on my phone. I NEVER let my kids play with my phone at church, I think it sends the wrong message.  After the first game, I told her to put it away and asked if she wanted to color with everyone.  She was fine with that.  She participated just like she usually does, but I couldn't leave without a melt down.  She's been forewarned that I'm not coming next week. 

As Primary teachers go, I'm sure that I started where her teachers did... hardest day of the hardest class transition for two young sisters that don't have toddlers at home that they regularly deal with. Shell shocked, uncertain, and unfamiliar with the students and their families. Even knowing this, I was still disappointed with the teachers though.  The teacher that was "in charge" hadn't even bothered to read the lesson, declared that the kids wouldn't understand it anyways and proceeded to let them just color and ignore any questions that she asked them instead of trying to get to know them.  I eventually interceded and I'm not sure that she'll thank me for it.  I read through the lesson and it was simple enough.  I am a Child of God.  We are spirit children of a loving Heavenly Father, and just like puppies become dogs and kitties don't become ducks.... we are destined to be Heavenly Fathers and Mothers just like our own.  I told the teacher afterwards that they do understand, they just get easily distracted.  Part of the lesson was pantomiming something that they can do when they grow up.  Most of the  kids did rocking a baby or sweeping the floor because that's what they see their adults do.  The teacher (I'm sure she was joking) said, "What about an accountant?" I was mad.  She expects three year olds to understand what an accountant is and does but doesn't expect them to understand their fundamental nature that their parents and Nursery leaders have been teaching them their whole lives? She's a nice lady, but I don't think that she fully understands the true nature of an individual.  And it's honestly something that I didn't truly understand until I was a mom... even if I did teach it over and over again as a missionary and as a Primary teacher.  We were born to be gods, gods have children as an eternal increase... we were born to be parents, parents have children to learn and grow... then they learn and grow as their children have children and they become the grandparents.... it's an eternal increase.

Even on days that our 3 year old threw up that night and couldn't sleep, our 7 year old peed her bed again, our 5 month old woke up at 6:30 and our kids had to get up at 7 to get ready for school...When I can't go back to sleep because the baby is ready for the day and I have the weekend's laundry and dishes to do, as well as all the bedding in the world to wash... I still have that knowledge that to become what I was born to be, I need to be what I am right now.  A mommy with absolutely no plans to shower in the immediate future.

Don't get me wrong, I know there are people out there who are struggling with becoming parents.  Believe me, I've been on the other end wondering if I was broken and knowing that God wanted us to have children but unsure if we would.  He has a plan for all that.  But it's Satan's big lie.  If he can sabotage a marriage, a family, an eternal increase... he's sabotaged your highest salvation.  If he can keep you from dating, from staying married, from choosing children whether you're able to or not... then you are the one that loses out.  When I die, I will not be known as accountant... I'll be known as mother, grandmother and wife eternally.