Scanning

As I'm scanning papers and pictures from my Grandma Wilcox's house, I'm finding all sorts of things.  She has things for grandkids, things she enjoyed reading, but my favorites are the written testimonies that I'm finding.  I read them and I love them.  It also makes me realize that my kids rarely hear me talk about my testimony outside of Family Night.  I'm grateful that Family Night gives me the chance to talk to my kids about what I believe and know and what I hope for them as they grow.  This also gives me a chance to re-evaluate what I want for me and my family as we grow together.  What I want is to be surrounded by my wonderful kids, their kids and their kids... I want my husband to hold me tight and enjoy the kids as much as I do.  I want to look at my family 40 years down the road and honestly say that they all know Christ in their lives and are moving towards Him.  I don't need them to be perfect, just trying.  I want to feel like I did in the temple the other day, looking across the room at the wonderful men standing straight and tall, knowing that they all are different but they all were worthy to be there... and know that my Dad was right in the middle of them.  I want my kids to know the value of work, independence, charity, dependence, faith, education, love, and family.  I want them to know that what God wants for us is very attainable.

I really like how Jer's dad puts it.  We don't "earn" heaven, we create our heaven.  We create the relationships with those around us that will endure into our lives after death.  We create the qualities that we possess and contribute to the qualities of those around us.  I want to create my heaven filled with people.  Some people can't understand why we've been doing fertility treatments even after having three wonderful, beautiful, and loved children.  It's because I want to share my heaven with as many as will have it.  My children aren't my only heaven though... my brothers, sisters, friends, parents, grandparents... I even have an intense love for my great-uncles and aunts and their children.  I want to share my heaven with all of them.