Last night was the first time that we've had Sammy cry himself to sleep... he just wouldn't be consoled no matter what we did... so we let him cry. I was so frustrated and I felt like I wanted to smack him and make him stop (though I know that smacking him would only make it worse... temporary outlet). I felt like an awful parent the first time that we made Ada cry herself to sleep... With Sammy it was just frustrating because he is just a good sleeper period... except for the last three nights. After he was finally down I decided to catch up on some blogs so that I'd be near by if he started up again. Two or three of them made me really think and appreciate more what I have and diffuse my frustration over something as trivial as Sammy not wanting to go to bed when I want him to. Do you remember in the middle of the summer when the 8 year old girl fell in the river and was technically dead and they revived her after she had been under water for 15 min? She was in critical condition last I heard and I don't know anything after that. I don't know if she lived or if she had brain damage or physical issues. I don't know if her family is still struggling with what happened or what... I have a friend whose husband was going through chemotherapy all summer which meant that she had to work and take care of their one year old and take care of him as much as he needed. I know if something like that happened to me, I'd be okay... it would be hard as heck and it wouldn't be enjoyable... but we'd be okay. There is a beauty given to those that struggle. A love of life and a humbleness and joyfulness that touch any that are willing to see it. There is a Savior to guide us through and to make sure that we don't loose our course. No one wants to invite these struggles into our lives, but it is good to know that it will be alright. It does remind me that a crying baby for an hour is nothing and that it's going to be a better day tomorrow... if I make it one. That's one thing that I don't know if I'll ever get over. It's up to the parents whether or not their kids childhood is magical or not. Do I want my children to remember the hours that we sit together and sing and play or the hours that they sit and watch movies while I get my projects done? How do I make our time together fun and memorable? This morning I decided to make time to read and play with my kids even though I have a list a mile long to do... here is the result...

Would I want to miss any of this for anything in the world? Do I have to sometimes... yes, but I need to remember that this time is better spent than any other.